After a LOOOOOOOOOOONG wait…

I’d like to introduce another member of my family. (Yes, I started introducing my family three years ago, and then petered out about two years ago BEFORE introducing two of my sisters—what a lame-sauce I am! But you can click on the Meet the Family link on the sidebar to remember all the other siblings I've introduced) AMY LYNN—my lovely second-eldest sister:

It’s impossible to know where to start with these things, so I’ll just ramble in no particular order. Try to keep up.

-- Amy is beautiful and talented and fun and amazing. (like all my sisters). And she loves our family with all her heart. She loves it when we can all get together, and she always tries to get us to come visit, and OH! she’s the one who when I said that we’re moving to Switzerland immediately started a savings plan so that she can come visit (all due to seeing me, not seeing Europe, believe you me). On an e-mail questionnaire long ago she answered these questions:

FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? When I was a kid it
was definitely Sunday, my family loves games and
sometimes we watched "Wonderful World of Disney" and
we always made treats, popcorn, fudge, and when I was
really little, slush.

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? Family.

She is REALLY loyal, dedicated, and also very thoughtful. She is very good at GIFTS. She loves finding things for people that they’ll love. And she remembers what people like—she could tell you everybody’s favorite candy bars in our family and probably all their shirt sizes. :) I remember when I was really little I got the chicken pox, and Amy gave me a gift bag with all sorts of goodies such as candy bars, coloring books, little kleenex packages, to help me through my itchy misery. I remember feeling so amazed that she would get me—her lowly little sister—something like that.

I called my brother Ethan and asked for a cool Amy story and he said that last Christmas Eve they went to a fast food place at midnight to get Dad a hamburger for Christmas and it was awesome. Apparently that’s what Dad said he wanted for Christmas.

Plus she’s just a really good shopper. BARGAINS, DEALS, ETC. We’ve all asked her to be our personal shoppers, and she does our best for everyone. In her own words:

So all this blah blah blah....bad times....economy is down....i say who cares? until today. i went to return something at mervyns and it said store closing. well i just thought it was that the store is in the hood ha ha so i said you guys going to transfer to the mall store and they said no, all mervyns are closing the store went under. what is the world coming to? seriously.

This picture below is from our family reunion this summer on Carnival Day when everyone got to get seriously AMAZING paintings on their faces. The really cool thing though, is that Amy had to go get something from the grocery store, so she actually went to Maceys like this. Sah-weet.

She chews on toothbrushes. Usually her own, but often other people’s as well. Don’t ask me why—she just does. When she lived in Minot with us that led to Wyatt always hiding his toothbrush. So if you found a toothbrush on top of the door frame, or in the potted plants, that was why. But sometimes she would give everyone a new toothbrush for Christmas to make up for it.

Sometimes when I shared a room with her in Ogden, she would give me lotion hand massages. She was the one who took me to get my ears pierced when I was finally old enough (12). And once she took me with her when she ran errands and she got some icecream bars for us and then we were sitting in the car together in the car wash, and she was like, “This is the life.”

Sometimes she would put on her Madonna tapes and put some of her dresses or necklaces on us and we would have stomps. It was amazing.

I think I already mentioned she is loyal (blue personality for you Color Code people), and sometimes she went a little far. I remember she had a shirt in her closet that she had worn to a dance with a boy she liked and she never washed it or wore it for YEARS-literally-because it smelled like him. Psycho.

I remember when I was young I always felt like she treated me the same as anyone, not like a “little kid.” This is something that is SOOOO wonderful when you’re a younger sister. For example, the first time I went toilet papering, she was going with Derek and his friend and Andrea, and for some reason she woke me up so I could go too. (I was 11 and they were 17, 18, and 19 or so) It was SUCH a thrill because I was with the big kids. Honestly, it was a monumental occasion to me.

She is buff. She doesn’t whine when things go bad, ANNNNNNND….. she played on a pro women’s football team. It’s true. She’s awesome. Unfortunately her career was short-lived because she broke her ribs. I’ll give you her own words again:

Alright here’s my news.... I AM A WIMP! I broke my ribs in football practice and let me tell you it is no laughing matter.....literally...it kills to laugh, cough and especially sneeze...sniff sniff I guess my dreams of being a football hero went down in flames... K Love you all Please be careful with your ribs- like so many other things, you never realize their worth until the're gone. SNiff SNIFF LOVE AMY

But, don’t worry, her skills still come in handy –like to tackle Wyatt during beach football at our family reunion this summer.

She has a masters degree in Social Work, and I’m glad she no longer works in that field, because it was a very depressing time for all of us. As an example, here is a page she made for me for an art class my first year of college. In case you can’t read it, I wrote it out below.

Why am I creating this page in Kayli’s book when I am not an artist? And I am supposed to be working on a project that is due on Tuesday? Why are my sisters so far away at USU? Why did I go to ASU and why in the world did I pick such a crappy major as social work? Why do CPS case managers have to work so hard for so little pay? And why do people hurt their kids? Why does there have to be broken skull fractures and ribs and legs and arms? Why can’t parents give up drugs and alcohol? Why do cycles of poverty continue over and over and what can be done to break them? Why are some people born ugly while others are beautiful? Why can’t we all get along? Why was I lucky enough to be born to my parents and have my brothers and sisters and why do I get the 2 most beautiful daughters in the world? Why am I always late for everything and why do I hate getting up early? Why do I love chocolate so much? Why are there still 24 days until Christmas? Why do I love puppies and hate cats? Why do I always let my emotions get the best of me? Why is there fighting and anger? Why can’t we give all children a warm bed to sleep in? Why don’t they make clothes for girls with big boobs and why do tickets to Minot cost so much money? Why are men big and strong and women smaller and weaker when women are nicer? Why are there bad people that kidnap children and hurt them? Why does God allow this? My friend says, “Stop worrying and be happy,” and Why can’t I?

She likes themes, and dressing up for things. The picture below was taken at her ward’s TACKY party. I’m impressed with their outfits. Really, realllllly amazing. She also dressed up as Madonna one year for our Family Reunion Karaoke contest and sang “Material Girl.” Reallllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy AMAZING.

When she lived in Minot with us, she let me borrow her clothes pretty much every day. Now that is true sisterly love.

The first time I drove a car was when she let me drive hers in Minot. I was 14 or so, didn’t have a license or any experience but she let me drive and I was doing really well until we got out of the little neighborhood-areas where the speed limit was 25 and out onto a road where people were going 40 and I was still creeping along, and she was like, “You have to go faster!” and I was like, “I can’t—I’m too scared!” and she was like, “GO FASTER!! YOU HAVE TO GO FASTER!!!!” It was good times.

She’s so fun and funny and people are always drawn to her and she really is ALWAYS ready to be someone’s friend. I’m so glad she’s my sister.

When I was young she worked as a lifeguard at a water park called Wild Waters (which no longer exists) and it was sooo awesome because we got to come to their staff parties. Can you imagine the fun of a water park with NO RULES?!!! Trust me, it was better than what you imagine-- climbing up the slides, making human dams until we exploded down the slide in a disorienting head-over-heels ride. Awesome.

The below picture is one of the few ‘oldies’ that I could come up with (all my pictures are in a box far across the ocean—SO sad, I really wish I could post so many other pictures), and it’s of Megan, Amy, Derek, and Andrea when they went skiing. Fantastic looking bunch, aren’t they? Amy and Derek have a running rivalry of who can beat the other at bowling. It requires a lot of smack talking:

"Lastly, I have been bowling a lot this summer and I just wanted to let you Know, DEREK that you should be a little worried. Seriously. I don;t want to have to explain to your kids why grown men cry. I do have an MSW, I guess I could counsel with them after.”

She’s a good planner, and usually the rest of us bums in the family (excluding Megan) don’t have to worry about planning for Mom and Dad’s anniversaries or Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. because she’ll just tell us the plan and we’ll chip in some cash or try to bum some cash off of someone else, whatever the case may be. :) As an example, I think this was when Mom and Dad’s 30th anniversary was in the planning stages (particularly funny if you happen to know my siblings):

I saw in an article a way cute barnyard theme for a
party.... I will be sending it to Megan shortly as she
is the only person who will really get things done.
Derek just e-mails how great he is (Maybe he thinks he
is Muhammed) AND NEVER RETURNS MY CALLS (so what if I
call at midnight) And Kayli... oh yeah she mostly
talks about how great she is too... and icecream... and Andrea had the
nerve to shoot down ideas while openly expressing that
she would only be kissing in lieu of contributing any
ideas herself. Shame shame I guess all the ideas
will have to come from Kami and then be executed by
Megan.

She enjoys food. She wrote in response to a questionnaire:

7. Favorite food? maybe "unfavorite food" is a
better phrase. You name it and I'll eat it
(occasionally there is a price tag attached- ie
Michael’s pet tarantulas leg, one unlucky goldfish at
Maria’s wedding etc) What I REALLY love though is
CHOCOLATE, Seafood, Avacados, Feta, the EURO CAFE, and
fresh tomatoes from the garden.

She’s a good cook, and I still dream about the steak she grilled me once when I visited her in Arizona. Mmmmmm. Also, tortilla soup, potstickers, and caramel popcorn all come to mind when thinking of her.

From all these wonderful stories I bet you think we were always perfectly loving sisters, don’t you? It’s not true. There was the ear-spitting incident. When we shared a room in Ogden, she would often come in after Kami and I were innocently sleeping. Then she would see what mean things she could do while we slept through it. One night, I was sleeping peacefully when I woke up to the NASTIEST sensation ever known to mankind—a wetness in my ear… what?? What could be in my ear in the middle of the night? Then I heard Amy and a friend of hers laughing and laughing. It was SPIT—in my ear. SPIT IN MY EAR. An EARFUL of nasty, gooey, GROSS, SPIT!!! I was sooooooo mad. I was FURIOUS. I was soo soo soooo angry. And Amy kept saying “Sorry, I didn’t know you were awake.” And I was like, “uhhh, I WASN’T awake—you WOKE me up with SPIT IN MY EAR!!!” And then she’d laugh and laugh, which made me MORE mad. (Maybe I shouldn’t relive this story, I’m starting to get worked up even now.) I put my head under the covers and cried in my rage, and Amy and her friend cried with laughing so hard. Finally I left and went into my brother’s room and opened the window so I could go out on the roof. (I would have gone out through my own, handier window, but that was where Amy was, and I didn’t want her to know where I was.) Derek woke up and said, “What are you doing?” And I said “Going out on the roof,” and he said, “okay," and went back to sleep. So then I stayed on the roof for a while to unwind, and then I went and slept with Megan in her bed on the floor under the quilting frame. (That was the last time all 9 kids lived in the same house. Megan didn’t have a real bed.) I didn’t speak to Amy for three entire days, and let me tell you that was a LOOOONG time for me. It’s still a bitter grudge that I carry for that uncalled for malice.

Okay, actually we laugh anytime ‘spit in the ear’ comes up, but maybe someday Amy, when you’re innocently sleeping…

So this last picture is Amy and her awesome kids, Olivia, Megan, Garrett, Brynne, and Chad.

I love Amy!