Random funnies

 Wyatt was holding Ethne's paper head cutout, and started fanning himself with it, and says, "Ethne is my biggest fan." 

(Latorres) Family council yesterday—listed in our notebook under Family Concerns: 1. The pH of Sebas’s aquascape is too high.  2.  Can we have more cheese?  

Brett and I (mostly me) struggled to put a heavy piece of wood on the cart (I mean, I struggled and Brett did it mostly by himself) at Home Depot. He had tried to get me to go by myself so that he didn't have to drive through traffic.I said, "How did you expect me to get this massive board all by myself?!" and Brett shrugged and said, "You're resourceful."

I said something Wyatt thought was embarrassing (told Brett to take his clothes off or something). And he said, "eeww, I'm not related to you. We should have my DNA tested." Me: I am, I was there when you were (about to say: born) but Brett interrupts: pulled from the trash can.

Brett: I Remember when Jethro watched Bob the Builder. That was... Well I wouldn't call it GOOD... I mean, he built things, so that's a plus...

At dinner I said, "Where are Navy and Orrin?"

Someone said they're at the Chambers, and I said, "What is Orrin doing there?" And Wyatt said, "Rizzing."

We were having a long conversation about if Brett were to get injured while dirt biking in Goblin Valley, because I told him he has to be extra careful since no one else is going to be there, particularly Megan to dress wounds and administer first aid. 

And I said he can't get injured because it would be a lot of pressure and trauma for the boys to try to know what to do, and whether they should stay and try to help him or go get help, etc and he said, "I would say, Fly, you fools!'" 

And Talmage is like, "oh, so you'd turn into Gandalf?"

And then he said he would just operate in himself, like Steven Maturin. 

And then they were saying they should invent a stretcher that they could put between two dirt bikes, to carry out an injured person, and they said, 'until one driver turns a little too sharp and the patient rolls off down the hill.'

I said maybe we should get some whiskey, just in case, for medicinal purposes. 

And then Brett said (we were walking around Wayne's Loop), "I'm getting hungry. What if we got injured and then we were hungry? We have to make sure to bring granola bars with us."

Just overheard (the boys have been building things with k'nex, and one was moving along the floor): If you were a worm, would you be attracted by this?

So in response to the worm comment, someone on Rasmussen Locos said: Psalm 22:6

Then I showed Wyatt the verse and he laughed his head off. He's like, "Is that REAL??That's my new favorite scripture!"

I said he should put it on his mission plaque, and he said, "That would be GREAT!"

Brett said he should choose two scriptures, the first one the one that says, "oh that I were an angel, and could speak like a trump..." And the second one, "but I am a worm" 

Brett to me (Kayli): try this (dirt biking) helmet on and see if it fits.

I take off my glasses and put the helmet on, then I put my glasses back on. 

Wyatt: Now you look like Jethro!

Brett: wow, you look hot! 

Me: hmmm, I didn't know a helmet was the thing.

Maria's response: Yeah Jethro is hot! 🥵

Brett: Have you ever noticed that flat bed trailers are bowed up (demonstrates with his hand) when they're empty, but they're flat when they're loaded?

Me: Is it because they're so sad that they're not doing their job and hauling something, so they're curled up in a ball, crying?

Brett: ...no. It's because of physics.

I was listening to a song that Megan is doing for Anders' homecoming, and Talmage came in and I said, "What should we sing for your farewell?" And he said, "Good riddance."

Jared Barney, talking about his air traffic control job: There've been **years when I didn't check my email.

Me: I think people generally can't have a huge intelligence gap, and have a happy marriage.

Jared: It's worked out well for me.

Jethro was in Texas talking to grad schools and he went to a burger place and he got a water cup. Then he took it over to the fountain drink place and was filling it with water, and a worker saw him and said, "you actually filling your water cup with water?" And Jethro was like, "well yeah." And the guy said, "Man! You DANgerous!"

Hazel: RJ and I got into President Oaks’ devotional! It was a mob to get in and every seat was taken!

Me: Good thing you guys are crazy street-fighters who weren't afraid to go absolutely UNHINGED on people and grab those seats!!!! 💪👹😱🥷

Hazel: We basically had to—people weren’t allowed to save seats, and one girl was rude to me when I asked to sit in the seats she had saved. RJ was so mad at her for that 😂 But we found other seats and eventually everyone sitting nearby banded together to get people in those seats when they closed off the building to more people, and she kept lying and telling the seats were taken.

I'm the best mom ever because I bought them a book with all kinds of pickups in it because they complained the other day that we have car books and motorcycle book and trains/planes, but no trucks.

Then they were being weird and saying "this is your crush" and then opening it to a random page and laughing. Or "this is how buff you are" and opening the page, or "this is how far apart your eyes are" and opening the page, or "this is what your girlfriend's grandma drives," and then laughing soooo hard. They are weird.

Wyatt: That's an ugly car.

Orrin: You're an ugly car.

Wyatt: Your face is an ugly car... Something else about if you had a face it would be an ugly car???

Maria to Hazel: How does it feel to be short?

Hazel: I don’t know, you tell me. 

Maria: I can’t, cause I’m not

To Ethne: Also, dad was super mad and huffy that he didn't get to talk to you yesterday and was all grumpy. I tried to assuage him by showing all your videos. But he still was like, this is dumb --only people who don't work can talk to her?! 😂 So anyway, I said next time you'd try your best to call him in the morning. :)

And while we were all listening to your videos while we ate, I said, "I bet if Ethne were stranded on a deserted island, she would start talking to herself." And Talmage said, "Start??" 😂😂

And I sent the video of you pulling your suitcases and saying that you're a missionary to Grandma and Grandpa, and Grandpa was like, "and there's the smile that they said in her blessing would shine for people..." Awwww 🥰🤩

Wyatt said, "there's a girl in my Spanish class who sits by me and she likes me."

I said, "why does she like you?" And he said, "because I have aura."

Talmage's HXP tripe leader, Seth, was asked if they were in the Hunger Games, which three people would he want on his team, and he said, "Talmage because he had that Boy Scout mentality--he'd keep us alive."

Talmage has been reading The Bear and the Nightingale series. I told him to read the first one a week ago maybe, and then when Hazel was here she overheard me tell him that there were more (because he said he actually liked it), and she said, "yeah, but one of them has a bad scene..." So I said which one, and she said, "I'm not sure if it's the second or third." So then I told her to go get it and check. So she gets up, sighs, and says, "Well, I'm off to search for smut." 

😆😂😂😂

Talmage, responding to all the random people's Christmas lights we were driving around looking at: "That's a terrible installation job!! Look at that wire crossing their wall! People should never DIY their own govee lights." Then as we're passing more houses: "Tacky. Unimaginative. Imprecise."

The funniest two things that happened today were 1. Brett rolled Navy up in a blanket and taped it shut, and then she was trying to get out for forever, and wriggling and worming her way out. Finally she was close to getting all the way out but her pants were stuck, and she even said something about her pants, but anyway she suddenly pulled the blanket down and her pants came off with it, and she was leaning over, and just out of nowhere suddenly her bottom was staring at us, and it shocked us all so much and we BURST out laughing!!!! It was quite the full moon tonight. 

2. Just tonight we were reading our little nightly Christmas story, so I read the first sentence which said something about a poor urchin,  but Jethro and Orrin were doing a weird hooligan dance, and Brett said, "we're trying to read this story so I can go to bed!" And Jethro said, "we're showing you the poor urchin" and I said, "no, he's poor and an urchin! He's starved and has no energy for dancing!" And so then Jethro started dancing like a psycho hooligan with a sad, distressed face, slightly slower, and Orrin did a really bizarre poor urchin Macarena, and swayed his hips, and I was crying tears of laughter it slayed me!!! SOOOOOO funny!!!!

We were all kneeling, ready for prayer, except Orrin and Wyatt, so Talmage said "I'm going to throw a block at your head." And, inexplicably, Wyatt laughed and said, "Yeahhhahahaaa! Block party!" 

Navy's not a morning person. Hazel got here late last night and was sleeping in the bottom bunk in Navy's room. I had just come in for the second time to wake her up for school, and then went out. Then Hazel's alarm went off and she got up, and Navy said, "How do you DO that? How do you just get up?!" 

Then later Hazel said, "Get up Navy." And she said, "I'm trying. I want to!"