Memories from Facebook that I'm not sure are recorded here on the blog or not

I remember the good old days when my sisters used to call to talk to ME instead of my son Jethro because he's smart and reads smart books like them. And I just heard him say, "I feel like my mom should read a WWII book because I feel like she'd learn so much because obviously she knows nothing." Thanks man.

Last night I was talking to the family about doing family pictures and I started saying, "And if you all cooperate," (I was going to say how it would go quickly, haha like that's ever going to happen), and Talmage finished, "we can get a horse?" Bribery is expensive these days, people.

July 2017 (Navy 1 yr. old)

Conversation while looking at these pictures:

Hazel: What are you going to do when you don't have a baby anymore?

Me: (sobbing) I don't know!!!

Hazel: You should have another one.

Me: (sobbing) Okay.

Hazel: I like having baby siblings. You should keep having babies until I have my own.

Me: (sobbing) Okay.

There was that one time (today) in church when Orrin accidentally closed a hymn book super loud, and then thought it was funny and did it again, so then Wyatt did it, so then I looked at them sternly and took their hymn books away and then I heard another one slam and took that one away and then I saw that Cameron Rogers was feeding them more hymn books from the row behind!! And Orrin started laughing so hard I couldn't keep from laughing too. Boys!!

You've heard what they say about how it often happens that your kids do the same bad things that you did when you were a kid. So that's true. Last night I was awake very very late at night in the front room with the lights off and I heard a kid come out of his bedroom and come into the kitchen. I assumed he was getting a drink, but then I heard a lot of rustling around, a small light turned on, the fridge opening and more rustling around. So I came in and turned on the big light and Talmage was standing there with a gallon of icecream in front of him. Yes, even though he looks EXACTLY like Brett, he is my child.

Today I was late to Orrin's kindergarten program because in the 1-minute rain storm two trees had fallen across the road down past our mailbox. One of them I could pull to the side, but the other one was still attached at the root and I couldn't get it to move, so I had to go back to the house, find a saw, and saw the tree down. Good thing my biceps are ridiculous. And I only missed ONE of Orrin’s songs.

Today my sister and I made a plan to go to Portugal together with no kids or husbands, just us. (No going back on this Leonardo-Kami, this was not idle chit-chat—this was practically a blood oath, just without the blood.)

The other day Brett taught me to load and shoot the rifle and I shot the can 3/7 times, which I’m pretty proud of.

Today my sister said she pulled a Kayli and for a moment I was mildly panicked at what she was going to reveal she did (don’t worry, it was nothing bad).

Today I was making tomatillo cilantro dressing and I put all the ingredients into the blender before realizing I had not screwed the bottom onto the blender first and everything was just sitting on (/leaking on) my counter.

Today I ran the whole loop trail behind our house twice just because I felt like it (shhhhh, but sometimes when exercise just feels like having fun I kind of like it).

Lots of fun telling all the kids about the fox as they came home from school. Someone asked me why I didn't run out immediately and chase it away and I said, "Well, what if it had rabies and didn't know how tough I am and wanted to fight me and I died?" And Brett said, "Well, at least the chickens would have been safe."

Lunchtime conversation--

Me to Orrin: When you turn 8 are you going to get baptized in the river like Talmage? (he was baptized in the Susquehanna)

Orrin: No. I'm going to get baptized where Jesus got baptized.

Talmage: Or maybe we could research the Book of Mormon and find the river where Alma was baptized and you could get baptized there.

Wyatt: I'm going to get baptized in icecream.

On the way home from guitar lessons today, I was telling Jethro different interesting tidbits from a book I've been reading (which has varied interesting tidbits of info from all kinds of studies) and one of the things I told him was that if you want someone to do something, like a favor for you or go on a date with you, etc. you should briefly touch them on the upper arm because studies have shown it dramatically increases their willingness to do that thing. So, after dinner he's on dishes and he said, "We need music." And I said no because he always picks loud, not-calming music. So then he comes over, briefly touches my upper arm and said, "Mom, can we have music?" I turned on the music.

This week's embarrassing moment at church-- Wyatt got called up to help in primary, and chose a square on the tic-tac-toe board and it said 'Scriptures'. So then the teacher said, "Scriptures are really important, right?" and he nodded yes. Then she said, "And you read the scriptures a lot in your family, right?" And he said, "Well... not THAT much." And all the adults laughed.

Yesterday at church I took Navy out for most of sacrament meeting, and Hazel came out to go to the bathroom and then stayed in the foyer with me for the last 10 minutes or so. (Remember Brett's on the stand.) When I went in to get my stuff from our bench after it ended, my friend who was sitting in front of us said, "Your kids were going crazy. Where was Hazel? She needed to come back to yell at them." So shout out to my right-hand man! What would I do without her?

Nov. 2016

My favorite quote from this Thanksgiving-- Jethro was helping me make a little table centerpiece, and I said, "Well, this isn't what I really wanted but we gotta work with what we have." And Jethro said, "No, we can work with what we don't have---just imagine a huge cornucopia in the middle of the table, wow, it's amazing!"

I sent Orrin downstairs to tell Jethro it was time for prayer, and when Jethro came up a bit later he said, "Why did Orrin say we are watching Top Gear?" and Orrin got a devious look on his face and said, "Well, I was supposed to get you up here." haahahaaaa

Just now Brett was playing with an elastic band, and he said to Wyatt, "Do you know how to make it into a gun and shoot it?" as he wrapped it around his hand. Ethne said, "No! Don't do that--the last time you did it you shot me in the eye!" Brett pointed his elastic at her and sweetly said, "Close your eyes." I laughed so hard.

Just now Jethro is mopping the floor (it's 9:20pm) because he put it off ALLLLL DAY long, and therefore I won't let him listen to the music he wants, and am listening to the music I like instead--he came to ask yet AGAIN if he could pick a song and I said no, and he went back to his mopping muttering, "drunk on power... tyrannical... dictator" ...uh, okay? haha

It's always exciting when you hear a thump in the basement and then water GUSHING onto the floor and your kids screaming "MOM!" and you run down to see water pouring from a broken pipe in the ceiling. Good thing Jethro was home to direct me to just turn off the valve. Also good thing we don't have carpet, nor did it get on our books, or couch, or anything really, and we just had to wet-vac it up. Maybe soccer is an outside game?

Me: Have you seen the trailer for the new X-men movie, Logan? It looks good.

My sister Amy: It doesn't matter if it's good or not if Hugh is in it.

Me: True dat.

Amy: Hugh dat!

Haahahaaaaahahahahahahahahaaaaa!

So our baby chicks came today and they were adorable and fluffy and cute so I sat Navy down in the grass and plopped a couple in her lap, and went to take some pictures (because cuteness, obviously) *somehow* FORGETTING that everything she can grab goes in her MOUTH. Always. So the picture on the right is the last one I took before I had to scream and grab the poor chickie before it VERY NEARLY was inside her mouth to be a fluffy, adorable chew toy. #notthebrightestidea

Brett: I'm going to be home late.

me: WHAT.

Brett: And... I bought a motorcycle.

me: WHAT

Brett: Yeah, it was down in South Hills so I'll be home in 40 minutes or so.

me: Well I bought a motorcycle today so you have to take yours back.

Brett: Haha.

me: I'm telling the truth.

Brett: Street bike or dirt bike?

me: Dirt bike.

Brett: What kind?

me: a 450

Brett: What brand?

me: HW. HW 450.

Brett: Hmmm, well I've never heard of an HW.

me: Well, I bought it.

Brett: How did you get it home?

me: in the van.

Brett: Sure you did. Well, I'm excited to see it.

And I WAS telling the truth!!!!

http://carminiatures.com/Hot-Wheels-2015-HW-Off-Road-Moto...

Jethro loves it when I come to pick him up from cross country practice and I honk my horn a lot and act like I'm going to run into him, especially when he's with a group of friends.

We were having a conversation (one of those one-sided conversations sometimes known as a lecture) with Jethro on being nicer to Hazel, and Brett told him, "And anyway she's very nice, you're lucky you have such a nice sister," and Jethro said, "Yeah, if I were her, I'd punch myself in the face."

This morning Wyatt randomly said, "If a coyote gets in our house, Jesus would help us."

Last night during FHE I had given most of the lesson and then I said, "Now I will end on sort of a different topic, but I know it's something you guys are really going to like," and Jethro's eyes unglazed and he eagerly said, "Motorcycles?" uhhhh, yes Jethro, we will conclude our FHE lesson by learning about motorcycles. ?!?!

Sometimes my kids' brains baffle me.

I found this poem today at a book in the library, and was reminded once again how poetry can speak to our hearts, speak to our souls, and is a rare gift in our mortal journey.

Miss Frog went in the kitchen

To bake some apple pies.

The little frogs were watching

With hunger in their eyes.

Miss Frog went in the kitchen

To make a sugar bun.

The little frogs were waiting

Until the bun was done.

But when the stuff was finished

And cooling on the shelf...

Miss Frog cried, "Go away, you fools!"

And ate them all herself.

-Arnold Lobel

Ethne brought home a cookbook from her school library so she and Hazel came home from church and began cooking the first recipe of the many they planned on making which included a fancy dessert, I was making dinner, and Jethro was his normal starving-13-year-old-self, so he was roaming around us and he started saying he was going to make a smoothie or jello or pudding. And I said 'Sure, pudding sounds good.' And Hazel said, "But Mom-we're already going to make dessert!" and Ethne said, "Hazel, Mom's not the kind of person to say we can only have one dessert." She's never spoken such truth.

I was talking to my sister Leonardo-Kami on the phone the other day and she was telling me the name of the company, and I asked her to spell it for me, and she said, "P" but I still couldn't tell if she was saying P or T or D so she said, "P, as in... photon." And I was like, Photon?? Really???? THAT'S what you come up with that begins with a P?

A few nights ago I was trying to get to sleep, but too many things were running through my head, so I finally got up and wrote a list in the hopes that it would soothe my brain and I could get to sleep. So just now I looked at the list (yes, that is how prompt I am with follow-up)-- just a regular old to-do list with not even very many things on it-- and one of the items is "call about the broken light on the motorcycle." This is extremely baffling as, while we do have a motorcycle, it's in the shed and I haven't looked at it since it came out of the moving van, it doesn't have a broken light that I know of, none of our other vehicles have a broken light, and finally, even if it did have a broken light that's not something I would have been responsible for calling about. I asked Brett and he had no ideas about it. I think it must be symbolic--something I am supposed to interpret and carry out so that I might fulfill the mission of my life. Help me out--what does it mean?!

I was looking through a box today and found my binder with all my college stuff--test scores and letters of recommendation and so on. I have to post this letter of recommendation, in all humility, that a friend wrote for me because of how much I love it:

To Whom It May Concern:

I've known Kayli and her family for about a year now. We attend church together and have participated in family and church activities with the Rasmussen family. They opened their home to us shortly after our arrival, and made sure we knew not to mess with 'em. They're a large family and they could probably take us.

I am currently the adult leader of the young women in our church, where Kayli is serving as the second counselor in the oldest class of girls. I can always depend on Kayli to smack the girls that really deserve it, without being told. She helps plan meaningful activities for the girls, like mud wrestling and snipe hunts. Kayli is goal oriented, I think she got eight at the last ball game. She has worked so hard to control her temper, but you know how redheads can be. Kayli is a natural, she doesn't have to color it or anything.

Kayli always does a first-class job at anything she sets her mind to do. Just recently she set her mind to nap during my class, and she did a world-class job of it. Her snoring didn't even disrupt the class...too much. I saw her report card recently and I was amazed at how well she did at changing F's to A's with nothing more than a ball-point pen.

Kayli is a fabulous young lady with a desire to get her way. she sets goals for herself and others, and works hard to make sure others help her achieve them. Kayli will be an asset to any organization she overthrows.

Today Orrin wrote me many many notes and then put them in envelopes and gave them to me to read. When I read them out loud, I was pleased to discover that most of them said things like, "My mom is the most beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, charming, gracious, gorgeous, talented person ever. Love, Orrin."

But THEN I read one that said, "Dear Mom, I have decided to move to China and live with a Chinese family for a few years. I will tell you all about it when I get home." And Orrin laughed SO HARD for three minutes straight because he didn't know that he had decided to move to China.

I flexed my bicep at dinner tonight (because sometimes I do) and Ethne exclaimed, "Where'd you get that?!"

Embarrassing story: So in our master bathroom the lock on the door is a little bit tricky to unlock, requiring a little shaking while you turn the knob, but usually no problem. Today however, I did the little shaking and turning to no avail. So I tried some more and some more. Then I felt the little knob break and it just twisted all the way around and around. Oh dear. I had no phone, and Orrin doesn't know his numbers so I couldn't tell him to call anyone. So I told Orrin to go to our neighbor's house to have him come get me out. The first house he went to (the family we know pretty well) nobody answered, so he went to another house and got a guy to come with back with him. When he arrived at the bathroom door he said, "Are you okay?" and I explained the situation, and he said, "That scared the crap out of me- your son was saying, 'My mom needs help! My mom needs help!'" And I was thinking, 'Well, it's kind of embarrassing the crap out of me, so we're even.' But he got a screwdriver from Brett's toolbox and opened the door to free me and I was like, "Nice to meet you." And as he left I said, "Thanks for being a knight in shining armor," and he said, "It's what I do."

Dear Mom, I love you because you care for me so I don't die and suffer. Sincerely, Ethne Bell

The kids filled out a little questionnaire about their dad today in primary. Here are some of their answers about Brett:

Ethne-- When I am with my Dad, we like to: worke.

I know my Dad is smart because: he works on hard things.

One thing my Dad is good at is: worke.

Talmage-- When I with my Dad, we like to: work.

I know my Dad is smart because: he fixes a lot of things.

One thing my Dad is good at is: working

Hazel--I know my Dad is smart because: he fixes everything!

They sure know their dad well!

I have a thing where I expect my children to all say thank you to me for dinner, so usually (not always) one of them does remember to say thank you which then obviously reminds all the others so that they say it as well. Tonight it went like this:

Hazel: Thanks for dinner Mom.

Wyatt: Thanks for dinner Mom.

pause...

Wyatt (yelling): DAY (say) IT, DADDY!!!

It was Hilarious.

I'm standing at the kitchen counter and I hear Ethne opening up the package of strawberries, so I say, "What do you think you're doing?" and Jethro says, "YEAH Ethne!" while standing there EATING A STRAWBERRY.

I just told Jethro to wash the grapes and put them in the whipped cream stuff for a salad and he starts hurling them into the bowl, making bomb sounds and yelling, "The Germans are bombarding Verdun! The Frenchmen cower behind the battlements, but they hold firm for now! The shells rain down over them and shriek like banshees!" etc. etc.

I was kind of looking forward to being able to say that Jethro and I took the truck to the dump and unloaded 1.35 TONS of junk out of it all by ourselves, but then a really nice guy came and helped us until we were done. He also had some solid advice for us-- "Don't let your husband give you this job all the time just because you get help," and "Next time your husband has a load like this, tell him to load it in a dump truck." ha ha

I felt so sooo SOOOOO awesome today when-- with the help of my amazing sister-in-law Wyatt-Lindsay-- I finished painting my front room, including the trim and then I went to Lowe's and picked up new plug-ins and light-switches so I could change them to white. I watched a youtube video of how to change them out, I made Jethro watch it too, we turned off the power and changed every stinkin' plug-in in the room and the light switch. I even forced Brett to give me compliments because I was so awesome. And then I flipped the breaker back and tried to turn on the light and ...nothing. No light, no power. And now I just feel lame. And sad. And pathetic.

We were eating hot dogs for dinner (I promise, we don't eat hot dogs every Sunday, or even very often), and Talmage said, "I like hot dogs better in Switzerland." And everyone agreed, including Brett. Then Talmage said, "See, even Daddy occurs to it."

So I'm doing the last of the dishes and Brett has already gone to bed, but I can NOT get the wing nut off the food mill to take it apart to wash it (I made V-8 juice). I think the more you crank the handle the tighter it gets, so it was stuck really good. I tried and tried --with the rubber gloves and everything for a good grib-- to no avail. So I'm wondering what to do and if I'll have to go get Brett out of bed just to get it off for me, but then I thought to turn to my friend Google, and I found this: http://www.instructables.com/.../High-Torque-Wing-Nut.../ and it WORKED!!!!! I feel so mighty!!

Yesterday while Orrin was unloading the dishwasher he said, "I feel sad for the dishwasher."

Me: Why?

Orrin: Because it ALWAYS has to do dishes.

The other night I was helping him say his prayers before bed and he said, "Please protect them from the wolves." So when he was done I asked him what he meant, and he said, "Daddy and Jethro," who had forgotten to get the chickens and ducks in earlier, so were out getting them in in the dark. I said, "You know, there aren't any wolves out there. They're safe." And Orrin said, "But remember that time when Daddy saw a bear and pulled out his knife?" Umm...no. But apparently we need to stop telling this kid stories until he grows up just a little and is a TINY bit less gullible.

Was mildly proud of putting the new seat on Wyatt's strider bike when it came in the mail today (the old seat got broken)--only mildly because it's really not hard, but hey-I did it instead of just waiting for Brett to do it-- until I went outside with Talmage and said, "Hey, did you see the new seat I put on all by myself?" and he said, "Yeah. I lowered it a bit because you know, with those kinds of bikes you shouldn't be tippy toes--no brakes. And I straightened it because it was a little crooked. You should really notice that when you put it on." Well, consider me humbled.

The other day in the car Orrin kept asking me all kinds of questions about whether we're going to die (yes, when we're very old great-grandpas), if it will hurt, if we'll want to, where we'll go (he already knew, up above the clouds with Jesus), if our body will disappear, etc. etc. I'm trying to answer as best as I can, and finally Wyatt pipes up and says, "Does Jesus ride a motorcycle?"

Story from my mom: When Jack and I were dating, he came to see me at the Indian Branch church, and then we were driving to his parent’s house for dinner, and he told me to open up the glove box. I opened up the glove box and he said, “Reach in- at the back there’s something for you.” So I reached in and pulled out a turquoise velvet ring box, and I opened it up and it was a diamond ring. I immediately snapped the box shut, put it back in the glove box, and slammed the glove box closed.

Talmage: I hate this kindergarten!! You almost NEVER get recess and now I have to get more shots--I want to move back to Switzerland!!!!

Me: Do you have gym in Kindergarten here?

Talmage: No--we have nothing fun! The teacher says word families are fun but they're NOT!!

My Dad and I were out in the garage waiting for my mom to come, so we put our faces centimeters from the door and then yelled really loud at her when she opened it. She nearly fell down the stairs. It was hilarious.

Today my mom dipped her chocolate centers in chocolate, and then I rolled them in coconut and walnuts (because we were doing the coconut and maple flavored ones), and they were sitting on the table for a few minutes until they set up enough to put into containers. We went into the laundry room to fold some clothes and when I came out, Wyatt was sitting on the table, both hands full of chocolates and both cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's. He was not sorry either--we said, "WYATT! Did you eat the chocolates?!" and he opened his mouth and pointed at it and nodded. Haha.

Tonight I read a story from the book of Grimm's fairytales that Talmage got for Christmas to Talmage and Orrin before bed. It was about an evil wizard who killed people and cut them up. Two sisters were killed and cut up and then the third sister was a bit more clever and when she saw the parts of her sisters mixed up in the big cauldron, she first screamed and then wept, and then collected herself and pulled out all of their parts and laid them out in order and they magically become whole and alive again. In the end, they burned the evil magician down in his house. When I finished, Talmage said, "That was a GOOD story."

Talking to my sister about renewing vows, and how it's not super common among our set, and sister says that it IS customary, however, to have big 50th wedding parties. And I was like, yeah, but you're like 75 years old by then, and she's like, "Except you-- you'll be about 40." And I kind of love that I'll be about 40 at my 50th wedding anniversary.

Wyatt was looking at a book of planes and said, "plane." Jethro JUMPS up and says, "He said plane!! Yay Baby!!! You said plane!!!! Your first aeronautical word!!!"

Story from Dad tonight: One time Dave was going to play in a church basketball game. He was taking the car, and I wanted to go with him but he didn’t want me to go. But my dad told him he couldn’t take the car unless he took me with him, so he took me about 3 blocks from our house and kicked me out and told me to stay right there until he got back and picked me up. Then he went out and got Donna Rasmussen, which he wasn’t supposed to do, and then he picked me up and we went to the game, and after the game, he made me sit on the street corner again while he took her home. And this was in winter. And I partly hold my sister-in-law Donna responsible for the fact that I nearly froze to death. And then after he took her home, he came and picked me up and took me home.

Another story from Dad: "Once I was supposed to be driving to Mutual, which was about 3 blocks from our house, and instead I headed down to Magrath to see a girl, and on the way I hit a deer. And my Dad said to me- 'I never thought about taking that route to the church.'"

I love Grandpa.