So I'm having a mid-life crisis. For several reasons.
a) Will we ever know what in the heck we're going to do with our lives? Where we're going, what we should be doing, be able to plan anything???
b) My baby is turning 1.5 years old next month !!!! (And I'm not pregnant, which is I think the first time that has happened.)
c) My oldest child is turning 12 YEARS OLD next month !!!!!
Let's just talk for a minute about that last point. TWELVE YEARS OLD. As he pointed out, his childhood is over and he's now entering his youth. After he was talking about that I started wigging out a little. I mean, his childhood is now done--there's no going back, it's written. Talk about motherhood doubts and worries--did I give him all the right opportunities? teach him all the things he should know? provide the kind of childhood environment that he can look back on and think was happy and fun and sparkling and purposeful and beautiful?
How has it even happened? I mean, it does actually seem forever ago when he was born and we lived in Logan and I was in school, but the years have been crazy speeding up all the time and SO SUDDENLY he is huge. I'm not ready for old kids and teenagers and actual people who are getting ready to leave me!! It's wack jack.
“Everyone is moving at the same speed toward the future. But your
children are moving at that same speed with their eyes closed. So you're
the ones who've got to steer.”
― Jennifer Senior, All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood
― Jennifer Senior, All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood
I won't even get into the trauma that is Wyatt getting to be a little boy instead of a little baby. Because he's my baby!!
Any sage insight, pearls of wisdom, or chocolate is welcome.
4 comments:
Life is like a box of chocolates, however, someone else usually beats you to them and the box is empty! Just trying to help!!!
FOG
If it's any consolation, you are always the mother I want to be! You are so great at creating magical adventures with your family--I am constantly in awe of how good you are at getting everyone outside together. And I know you do an amazing job of nurturing their love of books & learning. With that said, I totally hear you on the baby thing. I'm feeling really lost about that right now--it's so weird to not be pregnant but to have a kid who is running around doing little boy things.
And last but not least, you have that gorgeous dewy youthful beauty that ensures that nobody is ever going to believe you have a 12-year-old...and in another ten years people will think you're his sister!
and ps...don't even get me started on wondering when you'll know what is going to be semi-permanent in your life. I totally hear you on that. Ugh.
Kaylie,
I totally hear you on this! I've been freaking out and feeling the same way now for the last year or so. Josh turns 13 the end of this month! A teenager--officially!! (although he's been acting like one for the last while, haha!) and my baby (Liam) turns 3 this December! Ahh!! Do you know what that means? I will no longer have a child in nursery!! What the? How did this happen? All I can say is that life is amazing! My heart is full! Life is exciting too, and I truly believe (and have a greater sense) that "to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven". Life is such a beautiful thing--I cannot express! Watching my children learn and grow. . .it fills my soul. Continue doing what you are doing, soak up all the moments you can, and you will have joy :)
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