tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post1310332453210152762..comments2024-02-20T16:11:49.702-08:00Comments on Bells and Whistles: Stuff.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-61234922085311782602012-09-22T05:23:34.687-07:002012-09-22T05:23:34.687-07:00My heart goes out to you! The trouble with being ...My heart goes out to you! The trouble with being the expat wife. Maybe it's got something to do with being pregnant (nasty hormones!) but I have recently been going through something very similar. I feel pretty much done with a life abroad. I'm just so sick and tired of England! My hubby still has two more years that he is committed to staying here, and I always just assumed we would just renew our contract and stay for much longer, but I told him the other day that when his contract expires I want to go back home (we'll have lived here for 7 years by then!) I know a lot can change in two years, so who knows where life will take us, or if we will just end of staying put. I have decided to fully embrace the moto you mentioned "Bloom where you are planted" I've always loved that. I would hate to look back with regrets one day, that I didn't take full advantage of my opportunity to live abroad. I think your family is the perfect example of fully blooming where you've been planted. Anyway, it's nice to read your honest thoughts. It always feels better knowing that there are others going through the same thing. Good luck dear!Krishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01405487595346159775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-39399612440717201382012-09-15T18:51:37.788-07:002012-09-15T18:51:37.788-07:00Big hugs I kind of know a small part of how you fe...Big hugs I kind of know a small part of how you feel when we lived in florida though that was only 3 months but you do get lonely and you feel like your missing everything at home. Hard to be the wife it kind of feels like middle ground you get everybody off and they are all happy on there schedules and your sitting there going well what about me?? I want to be happy too:) Its hard to be thinking of one thing and excited for it only to have plans change no matter what it is its always hard!~ So I agree with most of the other commenter's! Hang in there:) Love your thoughts somehow it feels all better getting it out doesn't it! We love you and your adorable family!!Christalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02246295011979918734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-3971745993498084442012-09-13T21:35:51.635-07:002012-09-13T21:35:51.635-07:00"That is to say, on weekends and vacations.&q..."That is to say, on weekends and vacations." So funny.<br /><br />And I am thrilled that you are staying. Because I am going to come visit you :)emily ballardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983479482598462937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-44234460622756596122012-09-11T13:29:02.532-07:002012-09-11T13:29:02.532-07:00you are way braver than me to live there. I get lo...you are way braver than me to live there. I get lonely being 20 minutes from my friends and being in a ward with not many people my age, but I still speak their language. Good Luck!<br /><br />p.s. you have been nominated for an award on my blog <br />http://carlieandrob.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-beautiful-blog-award.html<br />check it out.Carliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17848943321521667015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-47337735689410519662012-09-08T08:14:12.272-07:002012-09-08T08:14:12.272-07:00Geez, I don't even know what to say. Your post...Geez, I don't even know what to say. Your post and the comments pretty well covered it. I guess I just wanted to grant you that, yes, I do get to talk more with neighbors and random strangers, and yes, I'm glad that all the ladies in my branch speak my language. And part of the reason I read your blog is to (1) be jealous of you and all the cool travelling and stuff you get to do, and (2) remember how blessed I am to be so comfortable with my own situation here in the U.S. Plus, I really like you, and you make me laugh. The end.<br /><br />P.S. This is Allison, of course.Benjamin D. Crocketthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16015182733354636797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-9979872917671757052012-09-08T08:12:43.510-07:002012-09-08T08:12:43.510-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Benjamin D. Crocketthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16015182733354636797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-45175097556325914932012-09-07T09:56:27.123-07:002012-09-07T09:56:27.123-07:00Has anyone commented on your most important ?, Wh...Has anyone commented on your most important ?, What movie the quote was from. Princess Bride!!! Yeah Baby. DocBrookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02426024482642010115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-53632837647435801942012-09-07T00:39:41.866-07:002012-09-07T00:39:41.866-07:00Amen sister!
I can't tell you how often I have...Amen sister!<br />I can't tell you how often I have had these exact thoughts. Being a mother is lonely. Being and expat is lonely. Combine them and you are really are in for it.<br /><br />After one year in here I got really sick when Ben was out of town and almost fainted with Addie here at the house. And I thought to myself: If I fainted and didn't wake up for hours or DAYS would anyone check up on me? Or notice? What would happen to my child?<br /><br />And the sad answer was no. Because I didn't speak German and didn't know any of my neighbors and all of my friends were online or far away. It was a real wakeup call for me and I realized that if I didn't reach out and make friends with people in my neighborhood that I would be miserable for the next 4 years. So I made a rule that I had to say yes to every social engagement - every grandmother who asked me for coffee and every playdate, even with moms who only spoke German and it was really really awkward. I joined an expats group in the area and made Ben invite his married colleagues over for dinner - especially if they had kids or spoke English. And I studied German. And a year later, everything is different! <br /><br />Now your situation is harder, you have more children and Swiss German is more frustrating than regular and on and on. But it can be done! Hang in there and make your social life a priority :) Women need other women and mothers need other mothers.Missyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11593515436022790929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-53310169910440001202012-09-07T00:37:53.624-07:002012-09-07T00:37:53.624-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Sarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15943117188089284203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-597696994221742802012-09-06T20:10:47.011-07:002012-09-06T20:10:47.011-07:00Well, although you would probably love to trade me...Well, although you would probably love to trade me places and be in Arizona, I have to confess that I feel more or less the same about my experience here. Although the language and culture (sort of) are the same here, I miss my family and friends and the awesome house I used to live in and knowing everything about the area because I grew up there. Jeff is gone ALL the time now that he is in grad school and all I have to do is stuff with the kids, which is fine and all, but boy do I miss home. And I feel REALLY lame, because I used to be really critical of someone in our ward back in WL who couldn't get over not being in Utah anymore, and I am trying to like Arizona and enjoy the hiking and other cool (as in interesting, because otherwise everything is very HOT) things here, but it's still hard.<br /><br />In the meantime, Jeff wants to move to Khazakstan or something after this.<br /><br />But I would come visit you again in Switzerland!!Alisha Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01542757451638113035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-38487489478032974502012-09-06T19:48:26.641-07:002012-09-06T19:48:26.641-07:00It is hard living in a place when you don't kn...It is hard living in a place when you don't know the language. Random--but I was recalling falling asleep during discussions in the beginning of my mission because I was SO tired and I had no clue what was going on. I think it would be hard to be isolated somewhat as a mom. I agree--it's good to have some socializing somewhat...and I'm a pretty low-maintenance gal when it comes to 'girlfriends,' but I agree,it is needed. I believe in the Bloom Where You're Planted theory, too, but it doesn't mean it isn't hard to sprout up. Maybe we're just supposed to sprout without complaining? Peoria still isn't home for me, but I do love my home and Elise's school and Tyler just loves his job, which is worth a lot (as you mentioned)! Like your family, I wish you were coming back, but you are having some amazing experiences! Thanks for sharing.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15524015070601085378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-38876011743160174182012-09-06T18:33:58.831-07:002012-09-06T18:33:58.831-07:00I appreciated your thoughts very much. I can rela...I appreciated your thoughts very much. I can relate. <br /><br />Well.....actually I can't relate to the living in a foreign country far far away....or trying to relate to people who speak another language or some of those others things like that......but when you mentioned the looooong hours that Brett is away, while you manage the home and the family's entire life and schedule.....well, yeah...I can totally relate to that. It does suck somedays. So sorry to hear that it's the same for you. And being pregnant on top of that.....well...it's just plain hard.<br /><br />I do have to say, my hats are off to you though for handling {well it seems you are] so well. For the "pick up your boots and carry on -- or put them on whatever the case may be" attitude I read between the lines you have. Inspiring! I need to do more of that. Seriously.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing.<br /><br />And hang in there. THere must be a multitude of reasons why everything points to your family being there for a few more years. Eventually maybe those reasons will stare right back at you fully and it will be a sense of relief to know. : )Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17650386366226859611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-58438582496132938272012-09-06T16:20:16.106-07:002012-09-06T16:20:16.106-07:00Hey but you can always enrol for a language course...Hey but you can always enrol for a language course for expats (there should be some available on weekends when your husband would be able to say home with the kids) and join some of the meetup groups in your area to get together with like-minded people who you could become friends with (have you heard about meetup.com?). Don't worry. I can absolutely relate to the way you feel as I have spent over 4 years in the Netherlands away from my family and friends. Yes, it may get extremely lonely at times (especially at the beginning), but as the time passes and the years go by everything starts to feel somehow familiar and homely, suddenly you notice there are more and more people who recognize you, smile at you and throw random hellos, lastly you find yourself having new habits and new routine and it feels so natural. I have to say from my own experience that language course helped a lot, and so did the meet ups and daily playground visits - these are the places where your social life get a great chance to bloom. Don't be afraid to try. Wish you best of good luck!<br /><br />PS#1 'Bloom where you are planted.' - So very true and valid statement. Agree. Very well said.<br /><br />PS#2 Sometimes there are also some pretty nice neighbours to befriend. It's a very comforting feeling to know that there's someone who likes you and you can relay on next door.<br /><br />/IsaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3830299480910238943.post-66377185655447144802012-09-06T13:50:20.317-07:002012-09-06T13:50:20.317-07:00It's interesting reading this because I am so ...It's interesting reading this because I am so envious of the fact that you guys DO get to live in Switzerland! I guess I always just focus on the cool stuff (hiking in the Alps!) and not so much on the day-to-day of living somewhere where you don't speak the language.<br /><br />I think your friend is very wise, though, and that also isn't something I've thought about before. Right now I'm stuck in this thing where I feel sorry for myself because I don't see much of my husband and all my friends are moving away. But really...it will probably be the same wherever we go, and like Maren said, it really is a matter of blooming where you're planted.<br /><br />I have no idea where I'm going with this post other than to say I'm trying to commiserate with you without actually having the expat frame of reference to do so...but I hope that the next few years are even better than the first couple have been, and you can look back on this as a totally awesome time for your family and for your own personal growth (does that sound cliched enough?)Rachaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17296225105026623275noreply@blogger.com